Tuesday, October 26, 2010

True calling

While I don’t watch her show, as I don’t watch TV – I am a big fan of Oprah’s website and magazine. I get her spiritual newsletter emailed to me weekly and I just love it! I enjoy reading the articles and find inspiration always follows in some form or another.

Here, a passage from this weeks’ spiritual newsletter:

Teaching is my true calling. I have felt inklings of this truth since I was a little barefooted girl in Mississippi trying to get my rowdy boy cousins Willie Mack and Lonnie to spell Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego correctly. They weren't very amenable. But I was persistent. Every chance I got to play teacher, I took.

After almost 25 years of talking on TV every day, my most profound and meaningful memories are of people getting to see the light in themselves and having an aha moment. Over the years, all my teaching on the show has taught me. I've been strengthened by the sharing of it. And I know for sure as I move into the next chapter of my life and career: Teaching will hold an even greater place. It's what I'm called to do.

We're all called. If you're here breathing, you have a contribution to make to our human community. The real work of your life is to figure out your function—your part in the whole—as soon as possible, and then get about the business of fulfilling it as only you can.

As part of my morning ritual of meditation and prayer, I read Mark Nepo's Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have. Today's lesson, as is often the case, was so spot-on that I have to share it.

Nepo speaks of "my struggles as a teenager when my mother wanted me to be a lawyer and my father wanted me to be an architect. Somehow I knew I needed to be a poet; something in it brought me alive."

He quotes Mechthild of Magdeburg, a medieval mystic: "A fish cannot drown in water. A bird does not fall in air. Each creature God made must live in its own true nature."

And he offers these observations of his own: "Part of the blessing and challenge of being human is that we must discover our own true God-given nature. This is not some noble, abstract quest but an inner necessity. For only by living in our own element can we thrive without anxiety. And since human beings are the only life form that can drown and still go to work, the only species that can fall from the sky and still fold laundry, it is imperative that we find that vital element that brings us alive... the true vitality that waits beneath all occupations for us to tap into, if we can discover what we love. If you feel energy and excitement and a sense that life is happening for the first time, you are probably near your God-given nature. Joy in what we do is not an added feature; it is a sign of deep health."

What I know for sure: There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It's why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.

We're all called. If you're here breathing, you have a contribution to make.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Attachments

What am I attached to? Rather, what material possession would I find myself incomplete without? What do I own that I feel I need, in other words? What is my favorite possession? Hmmmm.

Practicing honesty in the most sincerest sense, I can tell this is going to be difficult. Difficult not because there’s so many items I love and feel attached to, but because there is a lack thereof. Perhaps this isn't the topic for a low-maintenance minimalist. Well if anything, food for thought. Questions for us all to ponder.

First of all, I don’t have any assets. Nothing to brag about at the bank. No car, no mortgage. Nothing at all actually, in terms of monetary value. Not even a cellphone. The single most expensive thing I own (aside from my student loan, of course) is my $200 bicycle, and that was a gift from Logan. Next in line would be my little Canon camera which has probably depreciated to about $50, if that. I own an Ipod Nano (also a gift from Logan). Couch was free. Shelving unit, $15 secondhand. Ooooooh, my bed! I paid close to $400 bones for that! There we go, that may be considered an asset. Maybe this “lack” isn’t a good thing. But, maybe it is? As previously mentioned, I like simple living and simply living.

Back on the subject, what am I attached to? The answer is nothing. Nothing material anyways. A couple of years ago Logan shrunk my favorite sweater. Initially I was pretty upset but to cope I cued in to the intended lesson which was: it’s just a piece of material, it doesn’t define me nor in any way contribute to who I am, I don’t need it, etc.. Ever since that lesson, my relationship with the things I own has been quite mature.

I am, however, attached to several people in my life, i.e. my boyfriend, my brother, my Dad, my best friends, etc.. They're not material possessions of course but rather my family, and I sure as heck would feel incomplete without them. (**Family, afterall, is not about blood, but about love and commitment.** ..for those who know me well, I just had to throw that in there! Totally my favorite saying!)

What do I own that I feel I need? To answer this question, I've been spending my days very consciously aware of my usages, customs, and practices. I have found tap water and the food in my fridge and cupboards to be my necessities. Going further, I have been paying close attention to the products I feel I need: shampoo, soap and toothpaste. It’s been getting pretty cold outside so heat is on this list. As well, I can’t sleep without blankets. Of course, the money to buy these things is also a requirement.

What I think I need and what my favorite possessions consist of are interconnected. I love Tetley teabags and I enjoy facial moisturizer a couple of days a week. Footwear is kind of nice. Clothing is alright too, but not a necessity – as I love being in the nude. I need birth control pills. But most of all, I need red wine. If put out on the street homeless tomorrow, with only the clothes on my back, I would miss my bank card the most as without it, I wouldn’t be able to buy me a bottle of wine!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The little things

I returned yesterday from a 24 hr backcountry excursion with the family.  Had an amazing time!  It was my very first time camping in the backcountry – and that feeling of being in such a remote place I truly loved!  Simplicity is a beautiful thing.  My mind spent it’s time being free and light.  Smells of earth surrounded us while mountain walls reminded us whose boss.  Clear, blue-green, glacier fed water and vibrant autumn leaves colored our playground quite magnificently.  Peace filled my lungs with every breath. 

Unexpectedly, a downpour struck.  Lasting a couple of hours, I think it only visited to remind us of our basic needs.  Shelter is what we found ourselves instinctively seeking.  Warmth came in a close second.  It wasn’t long before teamwork and cooperation presented shelter.  Upon its completion though, the universe had coincidently responded to our innermost requests … presto, the rain had stopped!  A blazing fire was soon to follow and there we were basking in its glorious gift of heat.   

Ahhhhh.  I love my life!!!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Origins

The name Tootie comes from an old boyfriend. We were trying to come up with a nickname for me for MSN chat or something like that and I recall it struck him in the most obvious sort of fashion … tootie fruity! He said: You’re so gay and fruity-like that your nickname must be that! Tootie, 5 years later, has I am in many instances still called by my brother, sister-in-law and current boyfriend, has also become a major adjective in our household. To describe places and things that are my style: Tootie hill. Tootie shop. Tootie bike. Tootie hat. Tootie shoes. Sometimes even potential friends are described as being pretty Tootie. Verbs are also frequently described using the term as well: Tootie run. Tootie ride. Tootie hike.

When asked for input (on my identity, basically), Logan brought my attention to an excerpt I read to him once from the book Eat, Pray, Love. There is a character in the book by the name of Tutti (which we learned means everyone in Italian). He thinks that we could view my nickname in this light as well. Logan explained Tootie as synonymous for carefree. Everyone, he explained, feels a little Tootie sometimes hence the need, every now and then, for a Tootie hike – (which would translate into one of a carefree and leisure nature).

The name gusts of gratitude came to me atop a mountain last weekend. That’s where gusts of gratitude usually wash over me – like tidal waves no less. Well – anywhere in nature for that matter, or anytime I’m riding my bike, or anytime I’m eating a delectable meal, or anytime I’m surrounded by friends. Okay, okay. So gusts of gratitude wash over me quite frequently but I believe that’s why I’m a happy person. And – I’m not a fake happy person, I’m a bona fide lover of life! At times, these gusts so profoundly bliss me the eff out that all I can do is simply breathe, smile and be thankful. I am a being who is constantly in amazement at the smoothness and flow of life. I wonder sometimes if I always had such a positive outlook, but I just can't remember. More likely though, I believe it’s a way of life I’ve learned, that I've taught myself through experience and appreciation and acceptance. Life has treated me very nicely. I’m uber healthy, a roof has always been over my head and my tummy filled with food, love surrounds me, and the universe pretty much always presents me with what I ask for. I like learning the intended lesson. I like simple living, and simply living. And I think that's pretty much what it all boils down to!


With gratitude (on Thanksgiving weekend no less!)...

Tootie!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Valedictorian's Speech

Friends - excellent read here! This is sure to resonate with you at some level or another.

Dear Editor,
(The following was read as the valedictorian's speech at Coxsackie-Athens High School in recent weeks, creating quite a stir among administrators, to great applause from students and many of their parents)

There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master: "If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen?" The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years . ." (The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast - How long then?" Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years." "But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?" asked the student. "Thirty years," replied the Master. "But, I do not understand," said the disappointed student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?" (Replied the Master, "When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."

This is the dilemma I've faced within the American education system. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.

Some of you may be thinking, "Well, if you pass a test, or become valedictorian, didn't you learn something? Well, yes, you learned something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be. Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is to get out as soon as possible.

I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contest that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer - not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition - a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would come to class without their homework done because they were reading about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit, even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning.

John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of compulsory schooling, asserts, "We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then. But we don't do that." Between these cinderblock walls, we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and therefore viewed with contempt.

H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim of public education is not to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. ... Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim ... is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States. (Gatto)

To illustrate this idea, doesn't it perturb you to learn about the idea of "critical thinking." Is there really such a thing as "uncritically thinking?" To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?

This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is.

And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires us.

We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this planet is so special, so aren't we all deserving of something better, of using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more, and more still.

The saddest part is that the majority of students don't have the opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent labor force working in the interests of large corporations and secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can't run away to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers, dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we want to be - but only if we have an educational system that supports us rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are given a healthy foundation.

For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.

For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our potential is at stake.

For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.

So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here watching me. I couldn't have accomplished this without all of you. It was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all valedictorians.

I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this farewell is more of a "see you later" when we are all working together to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let's go get those pieces of paper that tell us that we're smart enough to do so!

Erica Goldson
Athens, NY

How To Be Alone

\http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

Outright perfection!

So excited to spend tomorrow alone on my day off!  What not to do:)

How To Be Alone by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were and you were not okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it's fine to be alone once you’re embracing it. We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books, you're not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there. There is also the gym, if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in. There’s public transportation, we all gotta go places. And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath, seeking peace and salvation. Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided, based on avoid being principles. The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by “chow downers”, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and so they, like you, will be alone. Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone. When you are comfortable with “eat lunch and run”, take yourself out for dinner to a restaurant with linen and silverwear. You’re no less intriguing a person when you are eating solo desert and cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were. Go to the movies where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst fleeting community. And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no ones watching because they are probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move, genuinely move to beats, after-all, is gorgeous and affecting. Dance till you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things. Down your back, like a book of blessings. Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might have never happened had you not been there by yourself.

Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after a while no one is dating them. But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it. You can stand swarmed by groups and mobs and hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company. But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts, an essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from pre-school over to high school groaning, are tokens for holding the lonely at bay. 'Cause if you’re happy in your head, and solitude is blessed, and alone is okay. It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses can’t think like you, this be me. It keeps things interesting; life’s magic things are rich. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. Take silence and respect it, if you have an art that needs practice stop neglecting it, if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it. You could be, in an instant, surrounded if you need it, if your heart is bleeding, make the best of it, there is heat in freezing. Be a testament.

Virgin Blogger

Hi friends!  I'm just so excited and happy today to be beginning the blogging era of my life!  And many thanks to Chandra for this inspiration!  We figured - why the heck not.  Everybody's doing it.  Even if we only follow each other.  Even if we only write as if for our own eyes.  Even if we only write other people's well put together words.  Even if we only post pictures of mountains we've climbed.  Even if we only post once a month.  Even if we just share our latest fitness goals or favorite yoga pose.  Even if we just want to play with the different design templates.  Here we are!  Much love and gratitude, Carrie, xox 
PS - Happy October! 

Gusts Of Gratitude

“It is not happiness that makes us grateful; it is gratefulness that makes us happy.”
(Benedictine monk and spiritual teacher, Brother David Steindl-Rast)